Aparigraha: Letting Go.

So, here we are again with my series on yoga concepts/values and how they translate into our here and now.

My yogi friend did her report on Aparigraha and NAILED IT.

Let us consider the things that we can all work on in terms of letting go:

-THINGS.

Could you stand to purge some things from your home? Work place? Man, I know I could stand to do this and was prompted to go through some clothes, mugs and other household items (this was tough for me, but I did it). Our things can WEIGH US DOWN. Our clutter becomes “clutter” of the soul.

*I challenge you to get rid of 5 items you no longer need. Try DONATION. That is good for your soul so it is a two-fer.

-IDEAS.

We can also work on letting go of our IDEAS or the things we believed to be truths about ourselves and others.

Have you ever pegged a person for some trait/dislike/discomfort only to find out how WRONG you were? I have. Taken an ass-whoopin’ a couple of times and it ALWAYS humbles me.

What about YOU? My yogi friend gave up straightening her hair for a week just to challenge herself. She laughed and noted that no one noticed. If this isn’t the truth right? We have so many IDEAS about WHO or WHAT we are that we hang on to this.

Perhaps it is that you are pretty? Athletic? Smart? Outgoing? Quiet? Funny? The middle child? The “baby”? Even our roles can define us and it isn’t that these things stand alone are bad as much as they might not SERVE us.

*I challenge you to explore 2 ways you DEFINE yourself and how you can work on letting this go. What does this look like? What changes?

-RELATIONSHIPS.

Not sure I am going to make any friends here, because FOR SURE someone will be like, “WOW, letting go of PEOPLE?”. For real though, I AM.

One of the people in my group talked about the challenge of defining when WE need to let go of an idea/belief about someone because we are tied to our ego versus when we actually need to LET GO of a person. Like bye-bye, hasta la vista baby.

My answer is this: How do you feel energetically? If someone you spend time with is leaving you feeling zapped, negative, angry, defeated, disappointed, ANXIOUS or depressed what are you DOING????? We even have IDEAS about WHY we hang on to people don’t we?

Like:

-they are my bestie from childhood…

-I’ve known them FOREVER…

-they helped me out that one time…

-I work with them…

-they are so FUN though…

-they really NEED me to be their friend, who else would they have?...

You feel this right? We have all made excuses for hanging on to people who DO NOT serve us.

This does NOT have to be a mean-spirited thing folks! It can be as simple as seeing this person as being loved and important, just not on YOUR path. I say it like this, “They are going one direction in life and I am going another”. It is not an insult or judgment, it just IS. We can even LOVE someone and LET THEM GO.

*I challenge you to take stock of the people you spend the most time with. How do you FEEL when you are with them? How about after? Do they support you? Do they challenge you? Do you feel pushed to be your best self in your time with them?

If you answered NO and guaran-damn-teed some of you were like, “nope”, “nope”, “nope” and you all be hangin’ on because YOU can’t let GO.

Make changes and choices that LIFT YOU UP.

- STORIES.

Does anyone out there have any old stories that they are STILL living by even though they no longer serve you? How about the stories that inform us about how we see ourselves? How about how we see the world?

We are all FAMOUS for taking the old things we’ve experienced into the HERE and NOW. And it is a DRAG. It can truly negatively influence our experiences in our lives because we are living a WHOLE other life from way back when. It clutters up our moments.

One of my favorite stories I have from my life is that people will go away. This has caused all kinds of good stuff in my life (insert dripping sarcasm here).

 It created a space where I pushed people away to see if they would come back. I also didn’t put enough ENERGY and love into maintaining old friendships because I figured they would go away too eventually. This caused me some deep spiritual wounds that I worked on in my own therapy and it SUCKED.

Yes, it SUCKED.

This led to so many yucky and unhealthy stories about my worth as well. They overlapped one another and it left big gaping holes in my heart that I didn’t know how to fill. My awareness came first, the work second. It is still something that can come up from time to time and I have to watch for it…lest it wipe me out AGAIN.

*I challenge you to define one story that doesn’t serve you and LET THAT SHIZ GO. See if for the lesson and teacher it is and RELEASE it.

LET IT GO. LET IT GO.

You’re welcome for the Frozen reference and just let me know if that little diddy doesn’t ride right around with you all day in your head…Lol.

I mean #truth though.

It is time to LET GO of that which no longer serves you. Things, ideas, relationships, stories. All of these have dangerous loopholes for us to fall into if we are not aware and willing to work on it.

Have I mentioned that yoga is BOMB and is changing my life? et to let go in yoga means showing up to your mat each time with a brand-new set of eyes and no expectations. It means that when a pose doesn’t work for me that day, I let that go and know that tomorrow is another day. It means that when I forget to breathe, I can COME back to it. I can let GO of comparing myself to my yogi neighbor. Heck, maybe they are a contortionist with the circus, how the hell do we REALLY know?? Lol. But, when I let all of that GO and just show up it has crazy ramifications for the rest of my life.

The same rules apply, right? I can show up each day to work with a new set of eyes and keep my ideas/expectations free to transition and flow rather than being hung up on how it HAS to be. I can parent from a place of fluidity and flexibility when I know that this frustrating MOMENT with my daughter need not dictate the rest of my day or how I view her.

If I feel rejected by a friend I can make her aware of my struggles, where this comes from and that I am working on my accountability here. I don’t ask HER to do anything, I just simply work on LETTING go of my expectations of myself to be perfect, of my friend allowing her to be human and to move forward from there.

SEE? This is how much changes when we let go.

So thank you dear Aparigraha. You may have kicked our proverbial asses, but we NEED it.

If we are going to GROW we need to LET GO.

Mic drop.